TRAVEL PLANS
One of our June adventures was an East Coast trip to New Jersey and Long Island. We planned three places to visit, each with a circle of people with whom we have “history.” My sister, who I have known all my life. Our Albanian family, connected by fate and now a more than two-decade friendship. And West Caldwell New Jersey, my home turf by way of teaching elementary children there for 28 years.
THE MAGIC OF LONGTERM FRIENDSHIPS
With each visit, it happened. After 20 or 30 or 50 years of knowing someone, you certainly can’t say, “Oh, you look exactly the same!” What was the same was the easy slipping into place of reminiscing and conversation. It’s like the comfort of slipping into a sweater that you keep in the house to wear for a little warmth. It fits. It doesn’t matter if you are dressed up or in “hanging out” clothes. That old sweater has no rules for how it is to be worn nor does it care what your mood is. It just fits.
First Stop. Visiting with our “adopted” family was a celebration of 21 years of their arrival in the United States and into our lives. In 2004 the parents’ children were pre-teens with those hints of handsomeness that would be theirs. Now both “kids” have embarked on careers, and are married with children of their own. Being a part of their lives as they have grown and matured, and now knowing their kids from birth has been a privilege and heartwarming gift to us.
Next stop, the drive to the north shore of Long Island. It’s worth braving the traffic on the Cross Bronx expressway to visit the home and property where my older sister has lived and raised her family for more than 50 years. It’s beautiful, restful, and the days were restorative to my sense of connection with my sister and brother-in-law.
Our West Caldwell, New Jersey finale included the requisite photo at Washington School, still a stately two-story brick building. The highlight was a luncheon with now retired teaching colleagues. Some of us have known each other for more than 50 years, beginning our careers in 1969 and becoming close friends.
The party included a slideshow of past parties, classroom events, retirement gatherings with lots of “Remember when we…?” How fortunate I am to have had this opportunity to keep those friendships active.
There were also the stories about some of the children we were privileged to teach. Children who, from a young age, seemed to have that grace and confidence that I still note in Facebook friendships. Some had struggles with learning or being part of a group. They all, without exception, had an innate capacity for compassion- tying a friend’s sneakers, helping to look for lost books, sharing snacks, making friends, waiting for a turn, showing emotion without embarrassment as we read and then watched Charlotte’s Web.
GRATITUDE COMES EASY
Each of these circles of connection stirred up such a sense of gratitude. Many years of my life have been spent meeting, creating, and keeping connections with these more than 30 people. It is such a gift. To be able to see them in person, talk, and laugh about our shared history, and hear their shifting life stories- it was like Christmas in June and most of you know I really love Christmas.
Do you have long-term friends that make it easy to slip into conversation? What makes it easy?
Ethel Lee-Miller blogs regularly about people, the power of words, and her writing life. She retired after 30 years of teaching, and semi-retired from coaching, and professional editing. Founder of the Eastside Tucson Writing Room based in Tucson AZ, she’s posted 100s of blogs, and is the author of Thinking of Miller Place, and Seedlings, Stories of Relationships. These days she writes to inspire, to connect with folks, teaching about the power of words, gather writers together, and for the pure enjoyment of it. Ethel enjoys teaching, speaking, and storytelling at Odyssey Storytelling, Artists Standing Strong Together, Tucson Tellers of Tales Center for Spiritual Living Tucson, her latest endeavor New Story Pod, and anywhere there’s a mic or a Zoom room.