DISTRACTIONS
SCENE
I’m sitting in my reading chair devouring a chapter of the latest humorous essay book, getting inspired to write something light and entertaining. My sweetheart walks by. Not unusual, except he usually has a leisurely pace when indoors. This was his outdoor striding walk.
Across the living room and down the hall he strides. Less than a minute later, he’s coming back with the same stride. His demeanor is more purposeful, his face has that concentrated furrowed-brow look. Into the kitchen, out of the kitchen, down the other hall to my office. He’s not talking. I go back to reading.
Oh, he’s back. He stops, scanning the room. His glance passes over me so I know I am not the object of this search.
“Have you seen my water bottle?”
Ah, it’s one of those situations.
SITUATION DEFINED
An everyday object such as wallet, glasses, water bottle, keys, lip gloss has been “misplaced.” Not lost.
PROCEDURE
When the cause of the pacing has been identified as a Search, the person nearby, aka Bystander, passively joins the search.
“Have you retraced yours steps?” This is what we’ve been taught. “Where were you when you last saw it?”
Loser, now known as Searcher, has half-heartedly done this, but at top speed so probably has overlooked the misplaced item.
Still passive, yet objective, Bystander offers “help.” “We came back from playing tennis and I know it was in the car so … Retrace. Retrace your steps.”
“I have. I have. I can’t find it.” He goes back into the kitchen, into the family room, back through the kitchen, down the hall. I hear the garage door open. Deja vu. He’s muttering.
Now having joined, it’s time for passive Bystander to take an active role, thereby becoming Co-Searcher, sometimes known as Lead Searcher.
I stand. I scan. There it is, in the corner of the foyer, on the table, by the closet, where he keeps his tennis hat. This makes sense.
Elatedly, I shout, “I see it. There it is. There it is!” As if the water bottle is a beloved child who has been found at last.
He’s back. His gaze follows my outstretched arm and hand pointing at the water bottle.
“Oh.” We both nod, united in our relief.
CONCLUSION
Then the Loser/Searcher, now Rightful Possessor of the misplaced object, does a cognitive review of what happened. “I put the bottle here, (with gestures) and put my hat away, and went to the kitchen because the phone rang and …”
PROCESS THE EXPERIENCE
I used to get really frustrated when that happened to me. I would berate myself, self-judge, blaming senior moment distraction. I wasn’t being mindful. I wasn’t keeping my head where my feet are. Mea culpa!
TRY A DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT
No more. Now I look at it from an entirely different perspective.
Yes, I was distracted, but why label it a liability? All people – seniors, middle-age career folks, teenagers, toddlers, infants, do get distracted. It’s not always because we’re getting older and the nerve endings in our brains are wearing away.
The distraction can be a situation manifested out of leisure time. It is really an asset. If you are retired, this time is filled with stimulating activities that require the gathering of supplies for golf, shopping, tennis, travel, hiking, swimming, volunteering, along with the necessities of daily life- keys, wallet, phone, etc. Distractions can manifest with a certain excitement about living with all these great opportunities. And then storing the items when completed.
If you are employed, same thing – gathering what is needed for work, then replacing at the end of the day. Replacing doesn’t always happen. Then the search begins the next day with even more stringent time constraints. “I’m gonna be late!”
THE NEW PERSPECTIVE
Distraction Searching can become the activity that gives you your 10,000 steps. It works for those of us who can’t locate items that frequently/always get lost. Come on, you know who you are. What about those misplaced sunglasses, reading glasses, water bottles, wallets, keys, shopping lists? This is not a bad thing. We spend minutes and energy on a house walk-about looking for them, usually at a pretty brisk pace.
Cast off your pedometer. Count aloud or estimate how many steps you take as you are searching.
I’ve designed a Distraction Search Chart: the painless way to 10,000 steps:
Creating Your Column Titles
Column 1: Items. List all the things that can get misplaced
Columns 2: Search Commence Time. The beginning time for the search.
Column 3 – 8: Rooms. Check as each possible room is searched
Column 9 Steps. You can estimate the number of steps it took. In creating a home chart decide if you need to include the garage, car, front and back yards, etc. Count steps in each room along the lost item row. Keep counting and check rooms again across the rows if you retrace and enter a room more than once.
Column 10: Total Tallies: After a while you won’t have to count; you’ll know how many steps it is from the kitchen to the office and then back for a round-trip.
Column 10: Search Concluded or Aborted Time: Those searches are not mindless, negative distractions. It’s hearty, healthy, physical exercise. Circle room where item is found, or search aborted. Two floors to search? You’ve got your cardio done too. The math computations count as brain activity. Celebrate.
Fill that water bottle and have a swig. Done.
Now go treat yourself to a snack.
Double Done.
Ethel Lee-Miller blogs regularly about people, the power of words, and her writing life. She retired after 30 years of teaching, and semi-retired from coaching, and professional editing. Founder of the Eastside Tucson Writing Room based in Tucson AZ, she’s posted 100s of blogs, and is the author of Thinking of Miller Place, and Seedlings, Stories of Relationships. These days she writes to inspire, to connect with folks, teaching about the power of words, gather writers together, and for the pure enjoyment of it. Ethel enjoys teaching, speaking, and storytelling at Odyssey Storytelling, Artists Standing Strong Together, Tucson Tellers of Tales, Center for Spiritual Living Tucson, New Story Pod, and anywhere there’s a mic or a Zoom room.