When I did a major overhaul of my life a while back, and wrote it down in black and white, I was surprised at the number of things I still feared.
After decades of self-actualizing, training, and daily practice, I still fell into two traps. Being afraid of losing what I had, and fear of not getting what I wanted. Not huge immobilizing, worry-all-the-time fears, but just enough to have some negative thoughts drift across that radar screen of my mind.
The truth is these fears are F.E.A.R.– False Events/Emotions/Evidence Appearing Real. There are other more colorful interpretations of this acronym: F*%# Everything And Run. File Everything Around Ruination.
A friend and I nodded in rueful agreement that we still feared situations where we just might not get what we wanted. Sort of related to the “what if’s…” Plans made for a trip– what if the weather ‘ruins’ it? What if she gets sick again?
But it’s all that F.E.A.R.– False Events Appearing Real.
Graham Green had an answer to keep fears at bay. “Writing is a form of therapy…” I agree. When those FEARs start, I grab a piece of paper (not too big, don’t want to sink into it). Sit down, write what I fear, what’s underneath the fear (some old teaching that is a lie), what I think it affects in me, and the flip side of it (what the positive viewpoint looks like). Once it’s in black and white, I can most often see the fear is not real.
“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” ~ Michael Pritchard. I’m staying in the sunlight–literally and figuratively.